well i have to be up in less than 6 hours (and need 10+ to be happy) but i decided i might as well write on here since all im doing is watching the bad girls club reunion (which is insane, the ambers are 930493x better than the others).but anyways im here to write sooo here it goes.
I’m at a pretty crazy time in my life right now. i’m finishing up my first year at college and it was pretty intense. theres been great memories, especially with korie and taylor. (ill reminisce so i have something to look back on in a few years lol) with korie, all the nights on the roof spying on the courtyard, knowing every single person that walks by the kuc, the stupid bas, dont go in 1 or 3, irf dra krey, halloween, ‘fraat boy’, those girls wanting to beat us up, zwinky!, all our lunches and dinner dates, my pallet on the floor, waking up at 3 am to you know what, riding tha raida express, making cookies! and so many other dumb things that no one on earth will ever understand. we can act liek complete idiots and embaress ourselves but in the end its so much more fun than doing anything else. im gonna miss ya ol girl.we’ve had incredible times and i <3 you!
and taylor- all the stupid movies we watch. the heart to hearts. jack in the box that awful day, and jack sitting in his directors chair. going to walmart all the time, just hanging out, hiding in my bathroom because we thought there was a killer in my kitchen, you ALWAYS having killers in your house! and a bunch of other stuff. i love having you to just be lazy and bored with but still have fun. thanks for being here for me no matter what and i love you!
now about me. ive changed so much in the last year (aka since cameron). i’ve grown up and realized its possible for me to be truly happy. i’m absolutly in love, and I now realize what true unconditional love is. at times i really question if after what we’ve been through i should stay here and work through this. in the end, i know the answer is yes. its been rough, long distance has never appeared to be easy. its been over a year now since we started talking and almost 10 months of dating and we’ve been through more than most couples ever will go through, but the fact that we’re both still here fighting for it proves somehting. some will say i should have walked away when all that stuff came out, and for most couples that would have been the right thing to do, but not for us. i take it as an issue that needs to be worked through, and if we can survive it we can survive anything. I’m moving in May and i’m going into it with full faith and hope.at times, its not going to seem worth it, but in the end when were together i know its going to be. everything happens for a reason (or so im told) and if that is true, cameron field and i are meant to be together. when we’re together i have an absolute blast. he makes me feel beautiful and lets me be myself. the best feeling is being yourself around someone and having them still love you afterwards, and thats how this is. we laugh, cry, fight, talk, and everything else, but we do it togehter. i know i can talk to him about anything, and vise versa. ive been nothing but honest with him and i feel like now , after everythings on the table, he can be completley honest with me. were helping each other through really tough times , and the fact that were doing it together shows something incredible. when im with his family i feel like i belong, which is somehting i haven’t felt in such a long time. i really didnt intend on this turning into a mushy gushy post but it is late and im somewhat out of it so i guess my real feelings are just coming out lol. but really, cameron is one of the most incredible guys on the face of the earth, despite his past issues and flaws. i have plenty of my own so i cant complain. in may everything will (fingers crossed) work out and be as incredible as ive hoped for the last 10 months. i cant wait to get to do normal couple things like go to the movies, to dinner, just relax and watch movies and everything else. just getting to be with him is going to be absolutly incredible. i know there will be people who don’t want us together and who will try to bring us down, but im starting to realize its out of jealousy. anyone who has time to worry about my relationship is pathetic. most of them need to spend time analyzing their own (pathetic) lives and stay away from those who are actually happy. also, i am really reallly proud of cameron and his new photography obsession. i do get jealous because i used to dream of being a photographer, but kinda gave up on it. im starting to realize maybe it was meant for him to discover it, because it made me realize how much i loved it. now we can work on it together 
. hes incredible at it (just check out his blog and you can tell he has talent). he is truly a one-of-a-kind incredible guy and guess what, hes all mine. well now its getting even later so i need to try to sleep, ive spilled all my feelings so now everyone that really cares to read all this knows a bit more about me. goodnight everyone. and i love you baby.
<333
jen
btw im gonna upload a few of my favorite pics
